Today has been a good day. I'm still super tired but the nausea and haziness is gone. I feel like I'm breathing again for the first time in a long time. Everything seems so much more focused and clear. I'm hoping to keep getting better every day and gain more energy back. I cannot help but wait for the other shoe to drop. Please pray with me that this new medicine continues to work!
I'm starting to feel myself again. Praise!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
the joys of antidepressants
Today was one of my better days. I'm in the middle of changing anxiety medications and the withdrawals have been brutal. Today was the first day I have kind of felt like myself. For those who don't know about antidepressants, they change your world. I think its hard for others to understand the toll these medications take on your body. Not every kind works, and while trying to find a medicine that works for you, you are nauseated, dizzy, have headaches, and increased anxiety.
I have been on lexapro for two years, and while it takes care of my anxiety, the side effects have become unlivable. I have gained fifty pounds, have no attention span in school, and am tired all the time. I honestly just didn't feel like myself while on lexapro. I didn't care about the things I should care about. I had no energy to fight for myself. I felt alone and helpless.
During my transition time in the last week, I have had night tremors, insomnia, nausea, and increased anxiety. I had extreme anxiety about returning back to Athens to live in my apartment by myself this summer. I have also had extreme anxiety about moving in with completely new people next fall. I am sad about my roommates moving on. A part of my anxiety is not being able to handle change well, and a lot of big changes are heading my way fast.
I have been on this new medicine, zoloft, for two weeks and four days. Today was my first day anxiety-free. Everything feels clearer now that lexapro is totally out of my system. I hope and pray that this new medicine works to curve my anxiety. I will keep blogging about my anxiety for each day to keep track.
On a different note, it is so strange in my life how God continues to show me that He is constant and unchanging. It is almost when I get too comfortable and dependent on people, He points out their shortcomings. Tonight has been very lonely, but I know that God has a plan to show me how great He is. I'm leaning on his everlasting arms.
Love,
Caroline
I have been on lexapro for two years, and while it takes care of my anxiety, the side effects have become unlivable. I have gained fifty pounds, have no attention span in school, and am tired all the time. I honestly just didn't feel like myself while on lexapro. I didn't care about the things I should care about. I had no energy to fight for myself. I felt alone and helpless.
During my transition time in the last week, I have had night tremors, insomnia, nausea, and increased anxiety. I had extreme anxiety about returning back to Athens to live in my apartment by myself this summer. I have also had extreme anxiety about moving in with completely new people next fall. I am sad about my roommates moving on. A part of my anxiety is not being able to handle change well, and a lot of big changes are heading my way fast.
I have been on this new medicine, zoloft, for two weeks and four days. Today was my first day anxiety-free. Everything feels clearer now that lexapro is totally out of my system. I hope and pray that this new medicine works to curve my anxiety. I will keep blogging about my anxiety for each day to keep track.
On a different note, it is so strange in my life how God continues to show me that He is constant and unchanging. It is almost when I get too comfortable and dependent on people, He points out their shortcomings. Tonight has been very lonely, but I know that God has a plan to show me how great He is. I'm leaning on his everlasting arms.
Love,
Caroline
Saturday, May 26, 2012
what brought me here.
I think that it is so important to look back on my past and see the beauty of today. Throughout the pain and heartbreak, God has surely brought beauty out of ashes. I feel like my life is full of beginnings. Each beginning brings on new challenges, desires, and temptations.
When I graduated high school, I was met with an anxiety disorder. When I came home freshman year, I was met with an unhealthy and all-consuming relationship. I have let both of these circumstances control my thoughts, actions, and relationships with people. Even when I was freed from these chains, I still have held onto this negative view of myself and my victimization.
Now is the time for me to let go and experience all the grace and joy that God has for me. This next chapter of my life will certainly have its trials but will also be filled with joy despite my circumstances. It will be a time for laughter and learning. It will be a time for me to figure who I am in Christ and who I want to be. I am tired of playing the victim and want to rise up and claim authority over the lies that have been fed to me my whole life. I am ready to accept the love that has been given to me and run free with it.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:11-13
Love,
Caroline
When I graduated high school, I was met with an anxiety disorder. When I came home freshman year, I was met with an unhealthy and all-consuming relationship. I have let both of these circumstances control my thoughts, actions, and relationships with people. Even when I was freed from these chains, I still have held onto this negative view of myself and my victimization.
Now is the time for me to let go and experience all the grace and joy that God has for me. This next chapter of my life will certainly have its trials but will also be filled with joy despite my circumstances. It will be a time for laughter and learning. It will be a time for me to figure who I am in Christ and who I want to be. I am tired of playing the victim and want to rise up and claim authority over the lies that have been fed to me my whole life. I am ready to accept the love that has been given to me and run free with it.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:11-13
Love,
Caroline
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