Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Help
The first week of school has been extremely difficult. I've been experiencing many panic attacks and a broken friendship. I get overwhelmed when I think of how long this semester will be. I've learned to take one day at a time, and to look to the Lord for comfort. I am counting down the days until I can come home. Please continue to pray for me in the battle of my mind.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Resting in the presence.
Looking forward has become harder and harder this week. I moved in my new apartment Saturday and my mom left Sunday. Sunday night I had two panic attacks. Change really flares it up. A lot of my anxiety comes from the fear of having a panic attack... weird I know. I hate the feeling of being out of control and embarrassed. I hate the cold sweat and fear of not knowing what to do. After that night, each day has become better and better in my new apartment. I let myself come home today knowing that I have had two great days in Athens. I knew if I came home the night of my panic attacks, I probably wouldn't have returned to Athens.
My biggest fear is that I made a mistake coming home. That, by coming home, I will have to start the readjustment process all over again and have more panic episodes. The rational side of me knows this is a lie, but the anxiety has a way of taking over my spirit. I recognize that the devil is working hard to keep me out of Athens. Please pray the my adjustment process will continue to run smoothly and I will bond with and feel comfortable enough to share my anxiety with my new roommates. The devil is trying to trick me into believing that I am the same person that I was freshman year, and that I will fail. I need to keep focused on my improvement in coping with anxiety and the small blessings. Finding time with the Lord has become hard this week. I want to completely shut off my emotions and go through the motions for fear of becoming vulnerable to a panic attack. The devil is working hard against me. Please pray that I will let the Lord fight for me and rest in his presence.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still."
My biggest fear is that I made a mistake coming home. That, by coming home, I will have to start the readjustment process all over again and have more panic episodes. The rational side of me knows this is a lie, but the anxiety has a way of taking over my spirit. I recognize that the devil is working hard to keep me out of Athens. Please pray the my adjustment process will continue to run smoothly and I will bond with and feel comfortable enough to share my anxiety with my new roommates. The devil is trying to trick me into believing that I am the same person that I was freshman year, and that I will fail. I need to keep focused on my improvement in coping with anxiety and the small blessings. Finding time with the Lord has become hard this week. I want to completely shut off my emotions and go through the motions for fear of becoming vulnerable to a panic attack. The devil is working hard against me. Please pray that I will let the Lord fight for me and rest in his presence.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still."
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